Princess Practice

Yeah. So, I guess this blog is going to be a once a year thing! I just can't seem to remember that I have it. I've always loved writing, but I've had some bad experiences with people criticizing me for wanting to write, and sometimes I still fight those voices in my head that tell me it's stupid.
I want to document what's happening in my life, not necessarily for anyone else, but for myself, perhaps to keep myself accountable. Anyone reading this probably knows my struggles with my health recently. My diabetes is still not under control, my sugar has come down, but is still higher than it should be. I have now started to have some serious vision problems, and have found out that I have retinal damage due to the diabetes. I am currently undergoing weekly laser treatments, and will be having surgery within the next month or so, which will hopefully allow me to retain some degree of normal vision. This has been a very difficult blow for me to handle, as I have always been a reader, and I now can only read with great difficulty. On the outside, I have been handling this well, trying to be optimistic, but in my heart, I have been asking, "Why me?"

I've had a lot of time to think because of everything going on, and I have come to realize that God has been trying to get my attention. I tend to try to be very independent, I can take care of myself you know! Now, I have to depend on my parents to drive me around, both to work and various medical appointments, as well as having to accept financial help from them. Then I realized, perhaps that's what God was trying to show me - I need to depend on Him. I know, what an amazing revelation, right? I think sometimes it's the simple things that we struggle with, the things that should be so easy, yet we make them so much harder than they have to be. I guess that's why some people struggle with Salvation, it can't possibly be that easy, and yet, it is! I've come to realize that I have fallen away from God, I've been depending on my strength instead of His. So, I have been doing a lot of praying the last few days, and I plan to do a lot more studying in the days ahead. I have felt that God may be preparing me for something, I just don't know what yet. I'm feeling led to take up my Princess study again, and start working seriously on the book for girl's that I had started. Perhaps someday I will have an opportunity to work with kids, and help them learn from what I have been through.

Since every good story about a princess should have a happy ending, I'll just let you know that I have been getting to know a guy from Tennessee. His name is Steve, and we've been emailing and talking on the phone for about three months now. I am not making any predictions, just sharing that he is a really nice guy, a very dedicated Christian, and has been a great support to me during this time. Recently, we have been talking on the phone just about every day, and it has been a real encouragement to me.